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icaruses:

airandangels:

the best part for me is the utter shock of the server

THIS CANNOT BE

MERE ANARCHY IS LOOSED UPON THE WORLD

This man is just like traumatized for life like-

He has to go into counseling for this shit 

His family and friends and even coworkers feel alienated

“Henry we talked about this-“

“HE TOOK THE ICE CREAM WITH HIS HANDS”

“Henry that’s what he’s supposed to do-“

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY HE ORDERED A CONE IF HE WAS JUST GONNA TAKE THE ICE CREAM-“

“If he gave you the money that’s what he’s supposed to d-“

“A CUP IS 50 CENTS CHEAPER”

He never has healthy relationships with anyone ever again.

His life has been defined by this moment.

This poor guy 

(Source: seizetonight)

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shortiduwop:

I had to do more research because this blew my mind. I found this article on Crack.com

One of the defining silver screen sex symbols, Rita Hayworth was born with the much less American-sounding name, Margarita Carmen Cansino.

She was raised in a Spanish dance family, and spent much of her childhood dancing in bars (see? It’s totally a legitimate way to raise a kid.) After Hayworth, er, Cansino’s father moved the family to Hollywood, the 16-year-old signed with Fox studios. She tried a few minor roles, but never got her big break. Fox studios decided not to renew her option.

The Metamorphosis:

Columbia Pictures came along and, not being much for political correctness, pretty much told Cansino that her lack of success was due to her being way too Spanish-y. So, Cansino agreed to go along with a few surgical processes, such as:

A. Painful Hairline Electrolysis

Cansino had a low hairline, which pegged her as a Latina. This is the same discrimination which kept Vega out of the World Warrior tournament, until he wore a mask to conceal his hairline.

Cansino submitted to getting electric shocks to kill her follicles and stop them from growing. Keep in mind this is the 1930s, when “anaesthesiology” usually meant “stroking your hand while you chugged from a flask of bourbon.” Next time you have a hot hair curler or a live wire, poke yourself in the forehead with it several hundred times. Now you’re as pretty as Rita Hayworth… well, not yet, you still need some…

B. Skin Lightening

Now that you’ve got fresh shock marks on your forehead, scrub them with this bleach solution. That’s exactly what Cansino did, all over her entire body. Skin lightening is a dangerously unregulated practice even now, but it was significantly worse 70 years ago. But, Cansino wasn’t done yet, before she signed with Columbia, she also had to have a…

C. Hair Color and Name Change

Carmen Cansino became Rita Hayworth. Her dark hair was died auburn. The transformation complete, Rita Hayworth now looked Saltine enough for Columbia:

Not five years before, the young immigrant’s daughter was dancing in smoky bars for coins. After her “honky-fication,” she became the hottest thing in sanctioned Armed Forces self-pleasure. A picture of her kneeling on a bed in a nightgown sold 5 million copies. Her likeness was fashioned on the side of atomic bombs.

Columbia starred Hayworth in many successful pictures, most notably, Gilda. Rita Hayworth found herself dancing with stars like Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly. Eventually, she settled down and married a prince.

The next time somebody tells you the path to success is “just be yourself,” tell them Rita’s inspirational story. It’s all about skin-bleaching.
Read more: 5 Celebrity Careers Launched by Ethnic Makeovers | Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/article_17501_5-celebrity-careers-launched-by-ethnic-makeovers.html#ixzz1tm0jzRI7
Read more: 5 Celebrity Careers Launched by Ethnic Makeovers | Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/article_17501_5-celebrity-careers-launched-by-ethnic-makeovers.html#ixzz1tm0dTPrz
Read more: 5 Celebrity Careers Launched by Ethnic Makeovers | Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/article_17501_5-celebrity-careers-launched-by-ethnic-makeovers.html#ixzz1tm0UvPlt
Read more: 5 Celebrity Careers Launched by Ethnic Makeovers | Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/article_17501_5-celebrity-careers-launched-by-ethnic-makeovers.html#ixzz1tm0DkB95

Woah. Those 2 pics look nothing alike. Wow

I can’t believe people didn’t know this? It’s been generally known stuff about Rita for years…

I have had this picture open in a tag for weeks, so I figured I’d reblog it. Just, the contrast…perform a hugely painful and utter transformation of yourself: it’s scary to think that’s what women (edited to add, as I should have before, especially women of colour) are asked to do.

(Source: tao1024)